Saturday 31 May 1996
This place is about to get packed with punters. Is that what paying customers are called? I think so. Time to get dressed for the part. Where’s the pub’s resident bitch, payer of my wages, and full-time unashamed floozy?
There she is.
“Just going upstairs to change.”
“Why don’t you just come wearing your work clothes, Maddy?”
“I like to change for the part I’m playing.”
“Go on, be quick. Bobby’s looking for you, by the way.”
“Thanks, Gwen.”
I swear that’s not her real name.
Upstairs I go. This really could be Miss Havisham’s place. I could play the part of Estella. Where’s my helpless, hapless, pathetic, and drooling Pip? He was a sweet boy. I can break Pip’s heart all on my own. Who needs to be a Havisham when I’m a Kane?
I really am just as much of a bitch as the aforementioned owner of this decrepit flat, who seriously needs to drag herself into the 21st century.
The nicest room in the flat is the bathroom. It has a freestanding clawfoot bath, an old-fashioned pedestal sink, and a large antique silver mirror. The floor tiles are the black and white mosaic variety. Gwen, it’s time to get working on the rest of the flat, no?
Joggers, trainers, and sweatshirt off. A quick look in the mirror.
I empty the contents of my crossbody bag. The part of a barmaid calls for crisp, light-wash blue jeans, an ash-coloured sleeveless tank top, and tan leather loafers. No bra. Another quick look in the mirror. It’s all good.
I am now tidy, tied-up-ponytail ready instead of ragamuffin casual. I take off my dad’s Rolex and put it into my pocket. I go down to the bar.
The bar is not yet packed with punters. Gwen is chatting to Bobby. They both look at me. Bobby smiles. Gwen looks at her watch.
I mouth, sorry.
She mouths back, no you’re not. Bobby smirks and sarcastically shakes his head. Gwen punches him on the arm playfully.
In come the usual Heldon weekend drinkers, followed by a group of boys who strut in looking around over their pouts and postures. One of them points to a table and his mates understand the instruction. It’s Harvey. Hi, I’m Harvey, I have what I believe is a cool name and I’m in a band so watch out. He has his collars up. Who’s gonna tell him this isn’t a good look.
“Four pints of London Pride.”
My hands land on my hips and I look at him wide-eyed.
“Did I forget something?”
“You forgot please, and you also forgot to put your collars down.”
A trickle of laughter flows seamlessly into a river of developing pub activity. Harvey steps back and widens his stance. Is the cowboy about to reach for his pistol? He attempts a smile.
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?”
“It is like that, and it’ll continue to be like that if you don’t put your manners back in.”
Bobby places his hands on my hips and ushers me to the side. He does an upwards flick of his head towards Max, who comes over.
“Max, four pints of London Pride for our friend Harry, please.”
“It’s Harvey…”
“Quit while you’re slightly ahead, fella. Thanks, Max.”
Bobby speaks to Gwen and her eyes are on me as he whispers something into her ear. She nods reluctantly, steps away from Bobby and throws her palms upwards.
I know my shift is over.
“Come with me outside, Madz. Grab yourself a drink.”
I’m not ready to go outside and I don’t want to grab myself a drink. I run upstairs into the bathroom and change back into what I came wearing, including my bra. I neatly fold my workwear and pack it into my crossbody bag. I sling my bag over my shoulder and put my dad’s Rolex back on my wrist.
I take my hair down and go downstairs where I see Gwen and give her a message.
“I’ll see you next Friday.”
“Maddy, wait”
“See you next Friday Gwen.”
I hear a for goodness sake as I go out the backdoor but I’m not sure who it was.
Outside in the pub car park, Bobby is leaning on his car and talking on his phone. I catch the end of the conversation which is I’ll talk to her and today isn’t a good day. He flicks his cigarette butt into a bush and turns to see me walking towards him.
“I could have finished my shift. I didn’t need babysitting. I’ve been in tougher situations than that, as you know.”
Bobby reaches into his pocket for his cigarettes. I snatch the box from his hand before he can light another.
“Madz, why did you take this shift? One of the crew could have covered for you.”
I fiddle with the Rolex and look away.
“It’s better to be busy on a day like today.”
“You always go away on the 31 May.” He steps forward and tucks stray strands of hair behind my ears and taps me on the nose. “Give me my cigarettes back.”
I walk around to the passenger side of his car. “The 31 May will be back next year. My dad won’t. Stop smoking. Try nicotine patches or gum. Who were you talking to?”
“Let’s go for a drink and then I’ll drop you home.”
“I don’t want a drink. You can drop me home though. You gonna tell me who you were talking to?”
“Gul.”
“You say the name like I should know who he is?”
“She.”
“OK, she. You take forever to get to the point.”
He smiles at me and I smile back.
The BMW takes us to the Cathedral in the Old Town. I know why we’re here. This is where conversations take a different turn. Every assignment starts here.
We get out the car. Bobby will need a cigarette. He’s pacing around, head down, kicking out at stones and looking up at me every few seconds. I take a cigarette out of the box and light it for him. I take a cheeky drag before passing the cigarette to him. He takes a big drag and exhales slowly, closing his eyes as he does it.
“Who, where, how and when?”
“Jignesh Mathur. Known as Jig.”
“Catchy.”
“India.”
“India? So we’re international now?”
“Knife.”
“Messy.”
“You leave Tuesday.”
“I have a hair appointment on Tuesday.”
“Long overdue I’d say.”
“It’s always the ones going bald that have the hair jokes.”
“Come on, let me take you home”
We get in the car.
“Who’s Gul?”
“She works for him. You didn’t ask why.”
“This is the last one Bobby, that’s why. I don’t care why. After this, I’m getting out of Heldon. How much for this one?”
“Hundred grand.” He sees my jaw drop.
“That’s me set for life.”
“Here you go.” He gets out the car, walks round to the passenger side and opens the door.
“Just out of curiosity and nothing else, why this guy?”
“He knew your parents.”
